Happy as a Mother is now Momwell. Same mission and services, different look.
LEARN MORE
Happy as a Mother is now Momwell. Same mission and services, different look.
LEARN MORE

September 18, 2023

August 23, 2023

Understanding Sensory Self-Care: How Overstimulated Moms Can Regulate and Regain Calm

E:
187
with
Holly Peretz
Pediatric Occupational Therapist

What You'll Learn

  • Viewing Overstimulation as a Cup, Not Just a Switch
  • What Being an “Overstimulated Mom” Means
  • Calming vs. Activating Sensory Inputs
  • What Causes Moms to Get Overstimulated
  • How to Notice the Warning Signals of Overstimulation
  • Sensory Self-Care Strategies for Overstimulated Moms

Life with littles is full of sensory inputs—noise, chaos, touch, and mess. Many moms find themselves feeling overstimulated, leading to stress and overwhelm. We often talk about self-care in terms of bubble baths and massages—but what about sensory self-care?

Today I’m joined by pediatric occupational therapist Holly Peretz to discuss how overstimulated moms can practice sensory self-care. 

Understanding My Own Capacity as an Overstimulated Mom

I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until my 30s. Looking back, I can see all the signs so early on. But I managed to find ways to function enough before having kids that my symptoms flew under the radar. 

I’d learned how to mask my symptoms and cope with the way my brain worked. But once I had three littles running around, and the volume of tasks expontentially grew, and life started to feel very unmanageable. 

One of the new experiences that emerged during this time was overstimulation. I would get so overwhelmed by the noise and chaos around me that I just wanted to hide in a quiet closet–let’s be real, parenting is chaotic. 

After I received my diagnosis, this made so much more sense—overstimulation is part of life as a mom with ADHD. But whether you’re neurodivergent or not, moms often find themselves coping with overstimulation during the early years of their children’s lives. 

It makes sense—early childhood is packed with stimulation, and it seems like between constant activities and toys that play loud music, we’re always being encouraged to invite even more sensory input into our lives—often without a break. So many moms struggle with this. 

When I came across Holly’s work around sensory self-care, I was immediately intrigued. I’m always fascinated to hear about overstimulation from an OT perspective. I couldn’t wait to chat with Holly about what overstimulated moms can do to stay regulated and reduce sensory overload. 

Viewing Overstimulation as a Cup, Not Just a Switch

We often think of sensory overload as a switch—we flip from calm to overstimulated and need to reset the switch. While Holly said that is a valid way to look at it, it’s also important to consider what happens in between. She looks at overstimulation throughout the day as a cup being filled that eventually overflows—and we can learn to let liquid out of the cup before it spills over. 

Holly was drawn into the concept of sensory input for moms through her work as a pediatric OT and through her own experiences. While training in a course on sensory processing, she realized that many of her own “quirks” could be explained through a sensory lens. 

For example, she often found herself wanting to leave crowded places early, while her husband enjoyed staying and talking. The conversations wore her down. But it wasn’t that she was unfriendly—it was that high-sensory environments impacted her differently. 

Many moms go through this experience because having small children is often high-sensory by nature. 

It can be hard to manage all of that sensory input while showing up and being “on” with no breaks. That’s why Holly developed a passion for sensory self-care and shining a light on the sensory experience within motherhood. 

What Being an “Overstimulated Mom” Means

Defining overstimulation is an important part of understanding our own sensory needs. Sensory stimulation is when any of our five sensory symptoms are receiving inputs—we’re hearing noises, tasting things, seeing movement, feeling touch, or smelling scents. 

Each of those inputs is designed to trigger something in us—and with each input, our sensory cup gets filled more and more. 

Holly said that we each have a cup that’s our own size—and we each have a Goldilocks level of sensory stimulation that feels just right. When we have that level, we can concentrate and perform tasks at a high level. 

But if we have too little or too much stimulation, it doesn’t feel good inside our bodies.

If we have too little or too much stimulation, it doesn’t feel good inside our bodies.

Holly pointed out that if we can become aware of our cup filling too high and practice sensory self-care strategies to reduce our stimulation, we can keep our cup from overflowing and heightening our nervous system. 

She said that our systems really are brilliantly designed—one of the ways we can release sensory information from our cups is to use our sensory systems in a different way.

Calming vs. Activating Sensory Inputs

Some sensory inputs can be alerting, but some can be calming. Think about how you feel in a noisy, crowded room, versus how you feel when a white noise machine or music is playing. Both situations provide sensory input—but one is calming, while the other is alarming. 

Some sensory inputs can be alerting, but some can be calming.

It can take a lot of self-awareness to determine our own Goldilocks level and figure out ways to release extra stimulation or use calming stimulants to our advantage. This can be even trickier with ADHD or neurodivergence

For example, my husband and I have completely different capacities for stimulation. I actually need more stimulation than him—a boring or quiet environment does not feel good to me. But I also overflow my cup easier. 

Other factors can impact our capacity as well. We might have a lower threshold if we are experiencing a particularly emotional day, coping with sleep deprivation, or dealing with chronic pain. 

Holly said that when it comes to both us and our children, it’s important to figure out our own cup. What is our threshold? What is our ability to take in sensory information? What environments trigger or calm us? How does our particular situation, such as work deadlines, affect our cup’s capacity? 

Tuning into the way we respond to our environment and different sensory inputs can help us understand what we need in terms of sensory self-care. 

What Causes Moms to Get Overstimulated

Holly said that a key component of our capacity is whether we’re working on particular tasks. We might have a much larger capacity for noises and chaos when we’re on vacation than we do when we’re trying to get work done from home. The pandemic often set us up for work interruptions, which can fill our cups too much very quickly. 

When Holly first began working in this area, she surveyed moms to find out what was most triggering for them. 

She was expecting to hear about feeling touched out or noise—but overwhelmingly moms pointed out interruption as one of the most overstimulating events. 

Overwhelmingly moms point out interruption as one of the most overstimulating events. 

Interruption can push our cups to the brim over and over and over, especially if we’re stressed about time crunches or deadlines. 

Holly said that it’s easy to think that we need to control the environment around us if we’re feeling overstimulated, but approaching the situation holistically is often more helpful. 

For example, we might want to keep our kids out of our office to stay calm—and that can be a valuable intervention. But we also want to notice why we’re feeling activated and think about what we can do from our perspective to release some of the pressure throughout the day. 

Holly pointed out that stimulation can also stay with us, even for up to eight hours after experiencing an input. So even if we move to a different environment after receiving a lot of input, we might struggle to calm back down or feel regulated again. 

There are also many overstimulating situations in parenthood that we can’t avoid. That’s why it’s important to also build self-care sensory strategies. 

How to Notice the Warning Signals of Overstimulation

Holly pointed out that we live in a very different society than generations before. We often have many more sensory inputs and stimulating things and activities in our environment. 

And sometimes overstimulated moms even turn toward stimulating things to try to cope. For example, we might scroll on our phones as a way to numb—when in reality, phone usage can be very alerting and stimulating. 

Noticing when we’re approaching that overflow threshold and having strategies in our toolbox that can use sensory inputs in a calming way can help us intervene before we hit the overstimulation point. 

We often don’t realize we’re overlooking our body’s warning signals. It’s as if all of our dashboard lights are going off but we just keep driving until the car breaks down. 

We often don’t realize we’re overlooking our body’s warning signals.

If we continue to overlook those signs, we might find ourselves avoiding potentially fun situations with our children, experiencing burnout, or battling an ongoing struggle with overstimulation. 

But if we can learn to make adjustments when we see the lights flash, we can keep going more efficiently—and enjoy motherhood more in the process. Noticing early activation signs, like clenching or tightness, heart rate increasing, warmth or flushed faces, can help us put action into place earlier to stay calm and grounded. 

Sensory Self-Care Strategies for Overstimulated Moms

So what can we do to release sensory pressure? What activities even count as sensory self-care? Holly gave two concrete examples (which she calls her sensory mama ninja tricks). These can be helpful to pull out when you feel like your cup is getting full. 

The first is oral sensory stimulation. Holly said that something as simple as eating crunch foods can create a calming affect. We see this in babies, who often use a pacifier or nursing to calm down. 

Eating salads, crunchy vegetables, or other snacks that activitate our oral senses can be a valuable act of self-care. Other ways to stimulate our oral senses could be to drink a warm liquid or something cold like ice. 

The second sensory self-care act is activating our proprioceptive system—which is the feedback from our muscles and joints. This involves acts like pushing, pulling, squeezing. Holly said that squeezing our hands together, pushing against a wall, or using a stress ball are great ways to activate this system. 

These self-care acts can also apply to kids who experience sensory struggles, along with ensuring that they are getting plenty of movement for their bodies. 

Holly also pointed out that general self-care is valuable—not necessarily pampering methods, but real self-care like prioritizing our own time, setting boundaries, moving our bodies, taking space for ourselves, and putting our own needs on an equal playing field with everyone else’s. These things can be very beneficial for our overall sensory cup.

If you struggle with sensory overload, our mom therapists can help you learn self-care strategies and form an overstimulation plan. Book a FREE 15 minute virtual consult today.

NEWSLETTER

Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated.
Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Tags:

Overstimulation, ADHD, Self-care

Stage:

Postpartum, Motherhood

Share Now:

OUR GUEST

Holly Peretz
Pediatric Occupational Therapist

Holly Peretz is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist with 12+ years of experience working with children and parents as a therapist and parent educator within hospitals, non-profits preschools, hydrotherapy and now online. 

Holly supports toddler parents in creating a childhood that "bakes in" the science of what makes toddlers thrive in this critical development period. She also hosts the annual Toddler Play Conference and the Thriving in the First Year Summit.

Erica Djossa
Erica Djossa
PMH-C | Founder of Momwell
Erica is the founder of Momwell, providing educational resources and virtual therapy for moms. She is a mom of three boys and a registered psychotherapist. Erica’s work has been featured in the Toronto Star, Breakfast Television, Scary Mommy, Medium, Pop Sugar, and Romper. how they want it.
RELATED ARTICLES
September 20, 2023
September 20, 2023
Managing Mom Anxiety: Why Millennial Moms Are So Anxious and How to Overcome Our Fears
E:
191
with
Dr. Lauren Cook
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
September 18, 2023
September 13, 2023
Embracing Power as Moms: Reshaping Dynamics In and Out of the Home
E:
190
with
Claire Shipman
NYT Bestselling Author
September 18, 2023
September 6, 2023
How to Raise Confident Kids: Breaking Cycles of Negative Self-Esteem
E:
189
with
Dr. Vanessa Lapointe
Founder of The North Star Developmental Clinic
September 18, 2023
August 23, 2023
Understanding Sensory Self-Care: How Overstimulated Moms Can Regulate and Regain Calm
E:
187
with
Holly Peretz
Pediatric Occupational Therapist
September 12, 2023
August 16, 2023
Navigating Matrescence: The Roller Coaster of Becoming a Mom
E:
186
with
Dr. Catherine Birndorf
Co-Founder and Medical Director of The Motherhood Center of New York
August 21, 2023
July 26, 2023
The Journey of a Bereaved Parent: Stefania Thomson’s Story of Navigating Grief and Loss
E:
183
with
Stefania Thomson
Bereavement and Grief Advocate
July 17, 2023
June 21, 2023
Myths About Toddler Behavior: How to Reclaim the "Terrible Twos"
E:
178
with
Dr. Cathryn Tobin
Pediatrician
April 24, 2023
March 29, 2023
Birth Trauma Part 2: Facing Pregnancy After a Traumatic Birth
E:
166
with
Kayleigh Summers
Clinical Social Worker
April 17, 2023
March 22, 2023
Birth Trauma Part 1: How Birth Trauma Impacts Our Family Decision Making
E:
165
with
Kayleigh Summers
Clinical Social Worker
April 10, 2023
March 15, 2023
Real Self-Care for Moms: Why Mindset Matters More Than Massages
E:
164
with
Dr. Pooja Lakshmin
Psychiatrist
March 28, 2023
February 8, 2023
Overcoming Mom Guilt: Rewriting the Motherhood Contract and Charting Your Own Path
E:
159
with
Libby Ward
Founder of Diary of an Honest Mom
May 15, 2023
December 28, 2022
Coping During Postpartum with No Family Support: When Reality Clashes with Expectations
E:
153
with
Emmalee Bierly and Jennifer Chaiken
Founders of ShrinkChicks
May 22, 2023
October 5, 2022
Protecting Maternal Sleep: The Relationship Between Sleep Deprivation and Postpartum Depression
E:
141
with
Dr. Nicole Leistikow
Reproductive Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist
May 22, 2023
September 21, 2022
Encouraging Independent Play: Why Unstructured Play Matters and How to Foster It
E:
139
with
Susie Allison
Founder of Busy Toddler
July 3, 2023
August 31, 2022
Why Does a Messy House Give Me Anxiety? How to Stress Less About Cleaning and Keep Your House Functioning
E:
136
with
KC Davis
@domesticblisters on TikTok and Founder of Struggle Care
July 18, 2023
February 16, 2022
What is Matrescence? The Transition into Motherhood (And Why Being a New Mom is Hard)
E:
108
with
Dr. Katayune Kaeni
Perinatal Psychologist
July 18, 2023
February 2, 2022
Discover Your Personal Core Values
E:
106
with
Dr. Cassidy Freitas
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
August 21, 2023
January 26, 2022
When Mommy Rage Strikes: How to Prevent and Control the Anger
E:
105
with
Dr. Ashurina Ream
Founder of Psyched Mommy
August 21, 2023
January 5, 2022
Sleep Training Doesn't Have To Be Scary
E:
102
with
Dr. Aubrie DeBear
Founder of Baby Sleep Dr.
August 21, 2023
January 19, 2022
Carrying the Mental Load: How to Redistribute the Burden and Give Moms More Freedom
E:
104
with
Eve Rodsky
New York Times Bestselling Author
August 21, 2023
January 12, 2022
Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression: How to Spot the Signs So You Can Seek Support
E:
103
with
Dr. Kristina Deligiannidis
Reproductive Psychiatrist
August 21, 2023
December 29, 2021
Decluttering: The Secret of an Easy to Tidy Home
E:
101
with
Katy Wells
Declutter Expert
August 21, 2023
December 22, 2021
100th Episode: Erica’s Husband Tells All
E:
100
with
Frenel Djossa
August 21, 2023
December 15, 2021
The Pressure to Get It Right
E:
99
with
Dr. Jen Douglas
Psychologist
August 21, 2023
November 24, 2021
Overcoming Gender Disappointment
E:
96
with
Dr. Renée Miller
Clinical Psychologist
August 21, 2023
November 17, 2021
Adding a Sibling to Your Family
E:
95
with
Bryana Kappadakunnel
Family Therapist
August 21, 2023
November 10, 2021
Regulating Your Nervous System
E:
94
with
Dr. Quincee Gideon
Psychologist
August 21, 2023
October 13, 2021
Momming With ADHD
E:
90
with
Dr. Melissa Shepard
Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist
August 21, 2023
October 6, 2021
Supporting NICU Moms
E:
89
with
Kristin Reinhart
Registered Social Worker
August 21, 2023
September 22, 2021
Working As A Mother
E:
87
with
Dr. Courtney Tracy
Founder of The Truth Doctor
August 21, 2023
September 8, 2021
Caring for the Postpartum Brain
E:
85
with
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
Neuroanatomist
August 21, 2023
August 18, 2021
Is Breastfeeding Worth Our Mental Health?
E:
82
with
Johanna Phillips
Maternal Mental Health Specialist
August 21, 2023
August 11, 2021
Exploring Mommy Wine Culture
E:
81
with
Michelle Smith
Addictions Counselor
August 21, 2023
July 28, 2021
When Treatment Becomes Trauma
E:
79
with
Dr. Quincee Gideon
Clinical Psychologist
August 21, 2023
July 21, 2021
PMS or Something More?
E:
78
with
Dr. Nichelle Haynes
Perinatal Psychiatrist
August 21, 2023
June 23, 2021
The Self-Compassionate Mother
E:
74
with
Dr. Kristin Neff
Associate Professor and Author
August 21, 2023
June 16, 2021
The Overstimulated Mommy
E:
73
with
Larissa Geleris
Occupational Therapist
August 21, 2023
June 9, 2021
Mom Brain
E:
72
with
Dr. Jodi Pawluski
Neuroscientist and Psychotherapist
August 21, 2023
June 2, 2021
OCD in Postpartum And Motherhood
E:
71
with
Jenna Overbaugh
Licensed Professional Counselor
August 21, 2023
May 26, 2021
Whole Brain Mommying
E:
70
with
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
Neuroanatomist
August 21, 2023
May 19, 2021
The Perfect Mother Myth
E:
69
with
Dr. Sophie Brock
Sociologist
August 21, 2023
April 28, 2021
A Deeper Look into the Mother Wound
E:
66
with
Bethany Webster
Author
August 28, 2023
April 14, 2021
Breaking Cycles And Interdependence
E:
64
with
Sian Crossley
Psychotherapist
August 28, 2023
March 24, 2021
Managing Screen Time Without Guilt
E:
61
with
Dr. Elizabeth Adams
Clinical Psychologist
August 28, 2023
April 7, 2021
Melissa Bernstein's Journey with Depression and Anxiety
E:
63
with
Melissa Bernstein
Co-Founder of Melissa & Doug & Author
August 28, 2023
March 3, 2021
Overcoming Resentment in Our Relationships
E:
58
with
Dr. Ashurina Ream
Founder of Psyched Mommy
August 28, 2023
February 24, 2021
Understanding the Mother Wound
E:
57
with
Bethany Webster
Author
September 18, 2023
February 10, 2021
Imposter Syndrome in Motherhood
E:
55
with
Dr. Kelly Vincent
Clinical Psychologist
September 18, 2023
February 3, 2021
Normal Mom Worry VS. Postpartum Anxiety
E:
54
with
Kate Borsato
Therapist
August 28, 2023
February 17, 2021
How Hormones Affect Our Mental Health
E:
56
with
Dr. Kristin Lasseter
Psychiatrist
September 18, 2023
January 20, 2021
Mindfulness for Mommy Rage
E:
52
with
Dr. Diana Korevaar
Psychiatrist
September 18, 2023
January 27, 2021
Coping With Miscarriage and Loss
E:
53
with
Dr. Jessica Zucker
Psychologist
August 30, 2023
January 6, 2021
Understanding Infertility and Secondary Infertility: What Causes the Struggle and When to Seek Help
E:
50
with
Dr. Natalie Crawford
OB-GYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist
September 18, 2023
December 23, 2020
Reducing Worry and Navigating the Health of Baby in 4th Trimester
E:
49
with
Dr. Mona Amin
Pediatrician
September 18, 2023
November 11, 2020
Learning to Love Your Postpartum Body
E:
46
with
Lexie Kite, Ph.D.
Co-Founder of Beauty Redefined
March 30, 2023
October 28, 2020
Maintaining Your Identity in Motherhood
E:
45
with
Chasity Holcomb
Therapist
March 30, 2023
October 14, 2020
Managing Perfectionism in Motherhood
E:
44
with
Dr. Jen Douglas
Psychologist
March 30, 2023
September 30, 2020
Managing Tantrums According to Science
E:
43
with
Cindy Hovington, Ph.D.
Founder of Curious Neuron
March 30, 2023
September 16, 2020
Celebrating 1 Year - A Look Back at the Top 5 Episodes
E:
42
with
Erica Djossa
Founder of Momwell