Erica's New Book Releasing the Mother Load is officially out! Order your copy today!
LEARN MORE
Erica's New Book Releasing the Mother Load is officially out! Order your copy today!
LEARN MORE

February 20, 2024

March 24, 2021

Managing Screen Time Without Guilt

E:
61
with
Dr. Elizabeth Adams
Clinical Psychologist

What You'll Learn

  • Is The Research Around Screen Time Really That Scary? 
  • Not All Screen Time Is Equal
  • Using Screen Time As A Tool
  • Impact of Parental Capacity On Screen Time
  • Setting Boundaries With Screen Time
  • Release The Guilt!

Screens have become such an integrated part of our lives and are so accessible. We can feel torn between using screens as a tool and feeling like we shouldn't use them because we've been told they're bad for our kids. Then to top it off, we have the pressure and worries of the pandemic as we navigate working from home and distance learning. Instead of approaching screen time as all-or-nothing, it’s best to look at the value and purpose of screen time in different situations. Ultimately, screen time is just another tool for us to use confidently in our parenting toolbox. 

Dr. Elizabeth Adams joins to help break down what research is telling us about screen time and then how to use screen time as a tool, so you can feel equipped to make a decision with little guilt.

Is The Research Around Screen Time Really That Scary?

There seems to be the impression that a lot of evidence around screen usage shows how damaging it is for children. But Dr. Elizabeth says, “All or nothing thinking around screen time is really dangerous. It just leads to guilt, and it’s not realistic.” 

Each organization has different recommendations for screen times which tells us even experts don’t agree! And these recommendations are based on the idea that screen time should be educational. “Using screen time to give a parent a break is a different goal. It’s not a bad goal, but it’s a different goal,” Dr. Eizabeth explains. If you’re at the end of your rope and just need to put dinner on the table that’s a different goal. 

There is no research to say screen time is harmful or damaging. It measures the opportunity costs which we will talk more about in a second. But, “The question should be more subtle than yes or no to screen time,” Dr. Elizabeth explains.

Not All Screen Time Is Equal

Kids 3+ can learn from screens (or TV shows). Most of the research on this was done around Sesame Street which was meant to get kids ages 3-5 ready for school, and it’s worked. 

“Showing kids can learn from screens tells us that the quality of the screen time does matter,” Dr. Elizabeth says. Randomized control studies of Sesame Street proved that the program impacted school readiness and helped with retention once the student started school. The largest impact was made for kids with fewer resources. 

Using Screen Time As a Tool

Some of the research is scary, but let’s weigh out both sides of it, so parents can be informed. 

Kids under one don’t learn from screen time. We saw this in two studies. One used videos to familiarize English-speaking babies to Mandarin. Young children have the capacity to learn any language they’re exposed to, so you would expect the baby to recognize intonations in Mandarin not typically heard in English. Babies being taught by the screen couldn’t do this, but infants who were taught by a person speaking Mandarin to them did show recognition. Another study had young children try to mimic a task from television. They were unable to complete the task but kids who mimicked a person demonstrating the task could.

Most research shows kids under two don’t learn from screen time. For this age, screen time is more about entertainment. The World Health Organization recommends kids under one have no screen time, but it’s based on the educational opportunity costs, not that the screen time is harmful to the kids. 

It’s based on the educational opportunity costs, not that the screen time is harmful to the kids.

When looking at opportunity costs, these guidelines are developed around education as the goal. It assumes that if the baby devours screen time, he or she is missing out on being talked to and read to. If your child watches Sesame Street for an hour while you make dinner, and the actual opportunity cost is a raging, hungry, overwhelmed parent, the baby isn’t losing a lot with the screen time.

When these studies are on the news and in journals, they’re often sensationalized. The headline scares you with all the negative connections to more screen time, and then they don’t do a good job of really digging into the study to parse out the nuances. 

A study showed the relationship between screen time led to lower test scores and less physical health, but these studies have significant flaws. Correlation doesn’t equal causation. The studies don’t mention that young children who consume more screen time may also be in a lower socioeconomic class. They also leave out the literacy of parents, the number of books in a home, and the availability of healthy food. We know all of these things significantly contribute to childhood development and health.

And some studies present the groups as a high screen time group and a low screen time group and focus on the differences, but ignore the other variables that affect childhood development. There is also almost no research on different qualities of screen time and the different impact that could have on development. 

But there is preliminary research to show that kids can learn from online apps. However, there isn’t research to know how it compares to in-person learning, the difference in the quality of an app, and how that compares to the quality of what’s available for in-person learning. 

Guide kids to make good decisions rather than just outlawing all screen time.

The only scary research is for kids under one who spend hours and hours in front of a screen. The opportunity costs of spending so much time in front of a screen delays their language skills. There is something to be said for giving kids agency and guiding them to make good decisions rather than just outlawing all screen time. 

Parents need to understand the opportunity costs of screen time for both them and their children. This is about moderation, so what does that actually look like? There isn’t a perfect number. It’s going to change based on circumstance and the age of the child. 

Impact of Parental Capacity on Screen Time

Our capacity is tethered to things like the pandemic and our children. What works one day might not work the next day. Let’s see screens as a tool. If you need downtime or nothing else is available, there is no evidence to show screen time is damaging. You’re not ruining your kids by making the right choice for you at this time.

When you have the capacity to limit screen time and introduce new rules, do it. And navigating screen time with older kids is different than younger kids, but the whole idea that using screen time during a pandemic is somehow damaging your kids is just sensational. There is nothing to feel guilty about when using screen time as a tool. 

The idea that using screen time during a pandemic is somehow damaging your kids is just sensational.

Although if it feels like screen time is your ONLY tool, please speak to a therapist or a doctor. There are other tools and strategies available. If you’re waking up at capacity, there might be an underlying condition such as postpartum depression or anxiety. There is help for that. There are even hotlines you can text if you’re not comfortable talking with someone just yet. 

Setting Boundaries with Screen Time

When a child is tantruming because screens are no longer accessible or it seems to be a habit to turn to a screen, these could be signs it’s time to put boundaries in place. Maybe watch one movie a day over the weekend, and that’s it. Or only allow a set amount of time on digital games. 

In a pandemic, screen usage is going to be higher than it was before.

In a pandemic, screen usage is going to be higher than it was before. This is how we’re doing everything. A lot of screen time during distance learning and shut-downs isn’t a bad decision. You’re allowing yourself to work and continue to provide for your child! This is a blip on the radar, and we’ll have better boundaries around screen time once we survive it. 

Release the Guilt!

It’s okay to use screen time as a tool and there are even some high-quality ways to use it. Screen time is not damaging your child if it is used in moderation. We are all navigating a pandemic together. Screens are currently our gateway to education, socialization, entertainment, and so on. There is no perfect amount and not all screen time is created equal. 

Remember if it feels like screen time is your only tool, you need more support. Reach out to your doctor, a counselor, a hotline, or even a friend. There are strategies available for you.

And if releasing the guilt is something you struggle with, check our Surviving Mom Guilt Workshop to help you get rid of it!

NEWSLETTER

Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated.
Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Tags:

screens and kids

Stage:

Motherhood

Share Now:

OUR GUEST

Dr. Elizabeth Adams
Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Elizabeth Adams is a child clinical psychologist who specializes in child development, social-emotional growth and learning, child regulation and behavior, and academic achievement.  She has been working in the field of child mental health and education for over 15 years. Elizabeth provides training and education to students and professionals, presented at national and international conferences, published articles and book chapters, and has been interviewed by magazines and radio programs regarding her expertise in child development and behavior. 

Elizabeth is the co-founder of Ello which revolutionizes the way children learn to read by combining real books with artificial intelligence technology and, in so doing, gives each child their own expert teacher.

Erica Djossa
Erica Djossa
PMH-C | Founder of Momwell
Erica is the founder of Momwell, providing educational resources and virtual therapy for moms. She is a mom of three boys and a registered psychotherapist. Erica’s work has been featured in the Toronto Star, Breakfast Television, Scary Mommy, Medium, Pop Sugar, and Romper. how they want it.
RELATED ARTICLES
April 24, 2024
April 24, 2024
Understanding and Implementing Responsive Parenting: How to Break the Yelling/Shame Cycle
E:
222
with
Dr. Cindy Hovington
Founder of Curious Neuron
April 22, 2024
April 17, 2024
How to Maintain Friendships (and Make Friends) as a Mom
E:
221
with
Danielle Bayard Jackson
Author
April 15, 2024
April 10, 2024
How Stressed Moms Can Cope: Understanding and Breaking Out of the Stress Cycle
E:
220
with
Amelia Nagoski
Co-author of Burnout
April 1, 2024
March 6, 2024
Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts About Baby: The Role of Stress, Anxiety, and Anger
E:
215
with
Dr. Caroline Boyd
Clinical Psychologist
March 25, 2024
February 28, 2024
How to Embrace Career Change as a Mom: Finding Your Passion and Overcoming Guilt
E:
214
with
Jess Galica
Career and Leadership Coach, Best-Selling Author
February 26, 2024
January 31, 2024
Postpartum Rage vs. Parental Anger: How Social Expectations Create Overwhelmed Moms
E:
210
with
Dr. Ashurina Ream
Founder and CEO of Psyched Mommy, licensed clinical psychologist
February 20, 2024
January 24, 2024
You’re Not an Angry Mom: Why We Experience Mom Rage (and What We Can Learn From It)
E:
209
with
Minna Dubin
Author of Mom Rage: The Everyday Crisis of Modern Motherhood
February 20, 2024
January 17, 2024
What Causes Mommy Brain? The Role of the Invisible Load on Forgetfulness and Brain Fog
E:
208
with
Dr. Jodi Pawluski
neuroscientist, psychotherapist and author
February 20, 2024
January 3, 2024
How Parents Can Avoid Information Overload: Maintaining Confidence in Our Decision-Making
E:
206
with
Cara Goodwin
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
February 20, 2024
November 29, 2023
Prioritizing the Invisible Load of Motherhood: Valuing Our Own Time and Letting Go of Mental Labor
E:
201
with
Whitney Casares
Founder and CEO of Modern Mommy Doc
February 20, 2024
November 15, 2023
Breaking Generational Trauma Cycles: Healing Our Past and Moving Forward in Motherhood
E:
199
with
Dr. Mariel Buqué
Psychologist and the author of the book Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma
February 20, 2024
November 8, 2023
Is There Such a Thing as Healthy Perfectionism? Reframing the Concept of “Perfect” in Motherhood
E:
198
with
Katherine Morgan Schafler
Psychotherapist and author
February 20, 2024
October 11, 2023
Embracing the 7 Types of Rest: Why Moms Are Exhausted and What Actually Helps
E:
194
with
Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
Board-Certified internal medicine physician and award-winning author
February 20, 2024
October 4, 2023
Interpreting Newborn Hunger Cues and Sleepy Signs: How to Learn Your Baby’s Needs
E:
193
with
Sharon Mazel
Author of Bite-Sized Parenting: Your Baby’s First Year
February 20, 2024
September 20, 2023
Managing Mom Anxiety: Why Millennial Moms Are So Anxious and How to Overcome Our Fears
E:
191
with
Dr. Lauren Cook
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
February 20, 2024
September 13, 2023
Embracing Power as Moms: Reshaping Dynamics In and Out of the Home
E:
190
with
Claire Shipman
NYT Bestselling Author
February 20, 2024
September 6, 2023
How to Raise Confident Kids: Breaking Cycles of Negative Self-Esteem
E:
189
with
Dr. Vanessa Lapointe
Founder of The North Star Developmental Clinic
February 20, 2024
August 23, 2023
Understanding Sensory Self-Care: How Overstimulated Moms Can Regulate and Regain Calm
E:
187
with
Holly Peretz
Pediatric Occupational Therapist
February 20, 2024
August 16, 2023
Navigating Matrescence: The Roller Coaster of Becoming a Mom
E:
186
with
Dr. Catherine Birndorf
Co-Founder and Medical Director of The Motherhood Center of New York
February 20, 2024
August 2, 2023
Establishing Family Values: How to Identify What Matters and Avoid Comparison
E:
184
with
Mell & Joe Hashey
Founders of Strong Family Co.
February 20, 2024
July 26, 2023
The Journey of a Bereaved Parent: Stefania Thomson’s Story of Navigating Grief and Loss
E:
183
with
Stefania Thomson
Bereavement and Grief Advocate
February 20, 2024
June 21, 2023
Myths About Toddler Behavior: How to Reclaim the "Terrible Twos"
E:
178
with
Dr. Cathryn Tobin
Pediatrician
February 20, 2024
April 19, 2023
Overcoming Grief as Our Children Age: The Value of Acceptance and How to Be More Present
E:
169
with
Bryana Kappadakunnel
Marriage & Family Therapist
February 20, 2024
March 29, 2023
Birth Trauma Part 2: Facing Pregnancy After a Traumatic Birth
E:
166
with
Kayleigh Summers
Clinical Social Worker
February 20, 2024
March 22, 2023
Birth Trauma Part 1: How Birth Trauma Impacts Our Family Decision Making
E:
165
with
Kayleigh Summers
Clinical Social Worker
February 20, 2024
March 15, 2023
Real Self-Care for Moms: Why Mindset Matters More Than Massages
E:
164
with
Dr. Pooja Lakshmin
Psychiatrist
February 20, 2024
February 8, 2023
Overcoming Mom Guilt: Rewriting the Motherhood Contract and Charting Your Own Path
E:
159
with
Libby Ward
Founder of Diary of an Honest Mom
February 20, 2024
January 11, 2023
Understanding Baby Temperament: How to Tune Into Your Child’s Natural Personality
E:
155
with
Dr. Cara Goodwin
Clinical Psychologist
February 20, 2024
December 28, 2022
Coping During Postpartum with No Family Support: When Reality Clashes with Expectations
E:
153
with
Emmalee Bierly and Jennifer Chaiken
Founders of ShrinkChicks
February 20, 2024
November 23, 2022
The Mental Load of Motherhood: How to Address the Imbalance of Household Labour
E:
148
with
Gemma Hartley
Journalist and Author
February 20, 2024
November 16, 2022
Surviving the Baby Witching Hour: How to Cope With Colicky and Fussy Babies
E:
147
with
Dr. Whitney Casares
Pediatrician
February 20, 2024
November 2, 2022
How To Deal With Toxic Positivity As a Mom: What To Do When Someone Invalidates Your Feelings
E:
145
with
Whitney Goodman
Marriage and Family Therapist
February 20, 2024
October 19, 2022
Returning to Work After Maternity Leave: Navigating the Emotions, Difficulties, and Challenges
E:
143
with
Dr. Cassidy Freitas
Marriage and Family Therapist
February 20, 2024
October 12, 2022
How to Know if You Have Postpartum Anxiety: Red Flags to Watch for in Pregnancy, Birth, and After Baby
E:
142
with
Dr. Sarah Oreck
Reproductive Psychiatrist
February 20, 2024
October 5, 2022
Protecting Maternal Sleep: The Relationship Between Sleep Deprivation and Postpartum Depression
E:
141
with
Dr. Nicole Leistikow
Reproductive Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist
February 20, 2024
September 28, 2022
Establishing Age-Appropriate Boundaries With Kids: How to Set Limits That Kids Want to Follow
E:
140
with
Tia Slightham
@parentingcoach on TikTok and Founder of Parenting Solutions
February 20, 2024
September 21, 2022
Encouraging Independent Play: Why Unstructured Play Matters and How to Foster It
E:
139
with
Susie Allison
Founder of Busy Toddler
February 20, 2024
September 7, 2022
How To Help a Child Regulate Their Emotions: Why Remembering the Good Matters
E:
137
with
Dr. Becky Kennedy
Founder of Good Inside
February 20, 2024
August 31, 2022
Why Does a Messy House Give Me Anxiety? How to Stress Less About Cleaning and Keep Your House Functioning
E:
136
with
KC Davis
@domesticblisters on TikTok and Founder of Struggle Care
February 20, 2024
August 24, 2022
How to Support a Child Going Through Transitions: Strategies for Separation Anxiety, Back-to-School, and Beyond
E:
135
with
Jess VanderWier
Founder of Our Mama Village
February 20, 2024
August 17, 2022
How to Help a Child With School Anxiety: Easing Worries and Promoting Resilience
E:
134
with
Dr. Becky Kennedy
Founder of Good Inside
February 20, 2024
August 10, 2022
Is My Child Ready for Kindergarten? Kindergarten Readiness Is Different Than You Think
E:
133
with
Susie Allison
Founder of Busy Toddler
February 20, 2024
August 3, 2022
Overcoming Postpartum Depression and Anxiety: Why Support Matters and How to Find Resources to Help
E:
132
with
Dr. Wendy Davis
Executive Director of PSI
February 20, 2024
July 27, 2022
Overcoming Working Mom Guilt: Why Moms Should Never Be Ashamed to Be Ambitious
E:
131
with
Lara Bazelon
Law Professor and Author
February 20, 2024
May 25, 2022
Navigating Tantrums and Meltdowns: Understanding Sensory Reactions and Supporting Neurodivergent Children
E:
122
with
Laura Petix
Pediatric Occupational Therapist
February 20, 2024
April 6, 2022
How to Get Kids to Stop Whining: Strategies for Communicating With Young Children
E:
115
with
Joanna Faber and Julie King
Authors
February 20, 2024
March 23, 2022
How to Get Your Kids to Listen: Tips for Managing Defiance in Young Children
E:
113
with
Joanna Faber and Julie King
Authors
February 20, 2024
February 23, 2022
Navigating After School Restraint Collapse: What Causes the Meltdowns and How You Can Help
E:
109
with
Dr. Kristyn Sommer, Ph.D.
Child Development Researcher
February 20, 2024
February 16, 2022
What is Matrescence? The Transition into Motherhood (And Why Being a New Mom is Hard)
E:
108
with
Dr. Katayune Kaeni
Perinatal Psychologist
February 20, 2024
February 2, 2022
Discover Your Personal Core Values
E:
106
with
Dr. Cassidy Freitas
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
February 20, 2024
January 26, 2022
When Mommy Rage Strikes: How to Prevent and Control the Anger
E:
105
with
Dr. Ashurina Ream
Founder of Psyched Mommy
February 20, 2024
January 5, 2022
Sleep Training Doesn't Have To Be Scary
E:
102
with
Dr. Aubrie DeBear
Founder of Baby Sleep Dr.
February 20, 2024
January 19, 2022
Carrying the Mental Load: How to Redistribute the Burden and Give Moms More Freedom
E:
104
with
Eve Rodsky
New York Times Bestselling Author
February 20, 2024
January 12, 2022
Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression: How to Spot the Signs So You Can Seek Support
E:
103
with
Dr. Kristina Deligiannidis
Reproductive Psychiatrist
February 20, 2024
December 29, 2021
Decluttering: The Secret of an Easy to Tidy Home
E:
101
with
Katy Wells
Declutter Expert
February 20, 2024
December 22, 2021
100th Episode: Erica’s Husband Tells All
E:
100
with
Frenel Djossa
February 20, 2024
December 15, 2021
The Pressure to Get It Right
E:
99
with
Dr. Jen Douglas
Psychologist
February 20, 2024
November 24, 2021
Overcoming Gender Disappointment
E:
96
with
Dr. Renée Miller
Clinical Psychologist
February 20, 2024
November 17, 2021
Adding a Sibling to Your Family
E:
95
with
Bryana Kappadakunnel
Family Therapist
February 20, 2024
November 10, 2021
Regulating Your Nervous System
E:
94
with
Dr. Quincee Gideon
Psychologist